More Clock Shenanigans

Since you're all so interested in this little voyage of clockular discovery that I'm on, I have another useful snippet of trivia for you, which I picked up in conversation today. Take a look at this picture:



This is the clock on the front of the world famous Corn Exchange in Bristol (source of the well known phrase 'cash on the nail' - but that's another story). Take a look at the clock. Nothing remarkable about it, I think you'll agree. If you were looking at it in real life however, you'd notice that rather than an hour hand, minute hand and second hand, it's actually equipped with two minute hands, each set 9 minutes apart.

These reflect the difference between Bristol time and London time - Bristol being 200km due west of London the sun rises and sets nine minutes later than it does in London. Keeping different times was fine until the coming of the railway, when it soon became apparent that agreement would have to be reached on exactly when trains arrived and departed. Thus began the concept of Greenwich Mean Time.

Apparently we can thank Isambard Kingdom Brunel - another famous Bristolian - for correcting this rather irritating anomaly. I imagine his conversation with the Minister for Clocks And Stuff would have gone something like this:

Isambard: Ere, me babber. 'Ave youw notessed thaat when youw catch ther trainl from Lundun to Bressle, yer waaaatch ends up noine menets faasrt?

Minister: What's that, old chap? Didn't quite catch it on account of the rather poor Vicki Pollard impression.

Isamabard: Sorry moi lurve. Carn't 'elp 'et. I's frum Bressle, see. Waaatch faarst 'en Bressle.

Minister: Watch? Fast? Bristol? What are you whittering about man? By the way old chap, I've noticed that my watch is always 9 minutes fast whenever I take a jaunt to bristol. Go and sort it out for us, there's a good fellow.

Isambard: Cheers then, Drive. Sorry. Thaat were outta 'abit. I gotta ideal. Frum now on, all ther clarks in Bressle be put ferwerd noine menets so they's ther same as Lundun's. Prublem sulved.

Minister: Splendid. Now tell my why you have such a strange name...

There ya go.

Sofa Related Head Injuries

So, having driven all the way to Hereford and back to collect a sofa for Stead's house we discovered that, no matter which way we tried to do it, the damn thing just wouldn't fit down his hallway.

Obviously, Stead being a calm and rational human being, took this news in a calm and rational manner, applying a positive spin to the occasion. I have slightly edited the wording of his rant-style monologue to protect those of a sensitive nature. All epithets have been replaced with asterisks:

"****! *** **** ******* ****! ****! ******, **** ******** ******!!! ***** ***** *** *******! **** **** ***!!!"

At this point, the sofa, which was tightly wedged between the staircase and the opposing wall, was subjected to a barrage of calmly rational kicks and blows, then pulled back and repeatedly slammed back into place in a calm and rational effort to free it from it's predicament.

Unfortunately, I had been providing a support function behind the sofa and received many blows to the head from said furniture. Lucky sofas are soft, eh? That said, I'm not sure anyone would have noticed had I received severe head injuries and suffered brain damage...

The Clock Thing

I've only just noticed that almost all clocks that display Roman Numerals use IIII instead of IV to represent 4 o'clock:

Very odd. At first I thought it was the just the one in the van-hire office I was in at the weekend, but then I saw one in an Indian restaurant this evening. It was really starting to bug me. And when I got home, I discovered that my own mantelpiece clock features the very same phenomenon. So I've been surrounded by clocks displaying this incorrect Roman numeral all my life and never noticed...

So obviously, I googled it. I'm not, it seems, the only person to have noticed this and wondered why. There doesn't appear to be a definitive answer, however. Some of the less mundane suggestions are:

The letters 'IV' were an abbreviated for of JUPITER in Roman times, so the Roman used to put IIII on their sundials because they didn't want the face to read 'one, two, three, GOD, five...'.

It's an aesthetic thing - the VIII is quite a 'heavy' character while the IV is not, so the IV was changed to IIII to even up the clock face.

King Louis the something or other was a dumb-arse (well, he was french) and when presented with a clock bearing the IV, he announced that it was wrong and insisted that it be changed.

So there you go.

Have a nice day.

Spam - A Theory

Just thought I'd float a half baked theory here...
Now, here's the dictionary.com definition of spam:

spam
n. Unsolicited e-mail, often of a commercial nature, sent indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups; junk e-mail.
tr.v. spammed, spam·ming, spamsTo send unsolicited e-mail to.
To send (a message) indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups.

It has occured to me this year that I have been the victim of an insidious spam campaign for years without realising it. Every year, this one included, I have been spammed by the greetings card industry. They're very clever about it. It's kinda like a sneaky virus that causes unwitting victims to flood their working colleagues with unwanted junk mail. What's more, and what makes this a particularly nasty form of spam, is that as the recipient of the spam, you are forced, out of politeness to simply accept this spam graciously and worse, display it prominently on your desk, thereby demonstrating to the world that you are a victim.

That's right, Christmas Cards are spam. Not all christmas cards - they do have their place, which I'll get onto in a moment. Specifically, however, those cards that are issued indiscriminately to all and sundry by office workers irrespective of whether they like the recipient. This is often done with the excuse 'I don't want anyone to feel left out'. I now have 21 instances of christmas spam on my desk.

Now I'm of the feeling that the world in general has been successfully convinced by the greetings card industry that it is neccessary to spend a fortune on bits of coloured card every year, for birthdays, christmas, easter, mother's day, father's day, granny's day, the only drink worth havingcher's day, secretary's day and, I noticed earlier this year, boss' day.

I have maintained for quite some time that, certainly in the case of Christmas, such cards are required only in the event that you will not be present around the time of the celebration in question, to send your best wishes to those friends and family that you will not see. Which is what I do.

So... Office Christmas cards as spam. Discuss...

It's All Gone Horribly Wrong

My life is falling apart around me. The end is nigh.

Actually, that may be a little bit of an exaggeration. Possibly...

My boiler has broken down for the second time in two weeks. I have a call in to British Gas to get Boiler Dude out here, but I have to wait in for him ALL DAY 'cos they can't give me an estimated arrival time.

Worse than that, my stock of teabags is dangerously low. I have 2 left. That's not enough to last the next hour and a half, let alone the whole day. And I can't go out and get any more 'cos I have to wait in for Boiler Dude. Right now, I'm drinking instant coffee and wearing a fleece!

To cap it all, my broadband modem decided to die on me this morning, so I've just spent an hour or so getting it running again.