Dazza Moo's Blog

I've just had the oddest phonecall in the office. An approximate transcript follows (names and places have been changed to protect annonymity...er and because I can't remember them)...

Darren: Good Morning, Fraud Prevention, Darren speaking.
Caller: Hello. Can I speak to Darren please?
Darren: You're speaking to me.
Caller: What?
Darren: (louder and slower) You're speaking to me.
Caller: Oh, Hello. This is Janice from Moulton Branch. You sent us an e-mail about a fraudulent payment.
Darren: Can you tell me when I sent the e-mail so I can find it on my list.
Caller: I'm sorry, I have a hearing problem and I can't hear men. I'm going to have to get someone else to speak to you (puts Darren on hold).

A minute or two elapses. Darren considers hanging up, but decides that it will be far more entertaining to see how this plays out...

Caller: (a different voice) Hello, this is Sarah.
Darren: Hello.

A lengthy and somewhat awkward pause...

Sarah: Um... My colleague has a hearing problem. Could you tell me?
Darren: Tell you what? She called me.
Sarah: Er... One moment please...

Darren is returned to his 'on hold' status. A minute or two elapses during which Darren plays with his Dangermouse pen-top.

Sarah: Hello. I'm sorry about that.
Darren: That's... ok, I suppose.
Sarah: You sent us an e-mail about a fraudulent payment.
Darren: That sounds like something I'd do. When did I send it?
Sarah: I don't know.
Darren: Ok, do you have the reference from the e-mail?
Sarah: I don't think so.
Darren: Hm (allowing a slight edge of disgruntledness to enter his voice). How about the customer's name or account number.
Sarah: I'll just have to get them. One moment please.

Darren listens to yet more muzak.

Sarah: I'm sorry, my colleague felt ill and has left the branch.
Darren: I'm sorry to hear that.

Another pause.

Darren: So... account number? Reference?
Sarah: I'm sorry, Janice didn't leave them for me.
Darren: Can I make a suggestion?
Sarah: Yes?
Darren: Why don't you phone me back when you know something. Anything.
Sarah: Er... ok.
Darren: Thanks for calling.

Click.