So... I am one of the growing number of people who are the proud owners of a Nintendo Wii. It's an early birthday present. It wasn't supposed to be an early birthday present, but events conspired to make it so.
Dr Karen has been promising me a Wii for my birthday since before Christmas. It's almost as if she likes me and wants to buy me the object of my heart's desire or something. Whereas with girls, they lust after diamonds and other small, shiny objects, I lust after new toys. DVD recorders with hard disks and built in freeview or the latest 'P' series smartphone from Sony Ericsson are my idea of Nirvana (actually the only good to come of Nirvana was Dave Grohl, but that's another story).
We went to the local shopping mall, which boasts a Dixons, Virgin, Game, Comet, Currys and Toys R Us, making the reasonable assumption that we'd be able to get, or at leat pre-order on in at least one of those stores. On the basis that it had been out for 3 months at that point, we didn't anticipate any enormous problems laying our grungy little hands on one**. Alas, I was so wrong!
The man in Toys R Us spread his hands expansively and said 'We haven't got any. Don't know when they're coming in.' which struck me a pretty ropey way to run a business. Still, I thought to myself, this doesn't present an enormous problem. We still have umpteen other shops to try. How naive, I was. Foolish boy.
The knuckle-dragger in Virgin (who probably was one on account of his sheer gormlessness) didn't seem to understand my question, whereas the solution that the spotty teenager (sporting a 'Manager' badge) in Game came up with was 'You could try phoning us each day after 11 o'clock to see if any came in our delivery'. Even John Lewis, who normally provide a sterling service could only look at me apologetically and say 'Sorry, Sir. We have no Wiis and we don't know when we'll be getting any.'
Now, this state of affairs seems absolutely crazy to me. A product that's been on general release for 3 months and not only does no-one have it in stock, but they don't know when the next batch will be coming in. Or even how many will be in that batch.
Fortunately for my sanity, we came a cross a very enthusiastic chap in Comet who, not only made sense , but was in a position to give us an assurance that I would have a Wii in time for my birthday, two and a bit weeks hence. 'The reason,' he told us knowledgably, 'for the lack of Wii's in the shops,' he added to provide a bit of context, 'is that Nintendo want them to be sold out wherever you go. This gives the impression that it's a highly sought after product and that you, the seeker of the product are the only one who doesn't have one, thus increasing your desire for one. So they only send us as many as we have firm orders for. It's about a two week wait.'
So we ordered one, expecting it to be available for store pickup on or around the 14th March.
Then my world was rocked. A week and a day earlier than it should have been. I received a phone call from Comet on the 6th and had a very odd conversation with a nice lady there:
'Hello. This is just a courtesy call to see how you're getting on with your new Wii.'
'Er... That would be the one I haven't got yet?'
'You... haven't got it?'
'No. I'm waiting for you guys to phone me to tell me it's in for collection. I only ordered it at the weekend.'
'Oh. Well. I have good news for you then...'
Just a few short hours later, I was in Comet collecting my Wii. A very small part of me (about the size of a pea, since you ask) wonders if the Wii that I got had actually been originally allocated to someone else but when presented with an unexpected response of the phone, the girl from comet got flustered, told me it was in, then realised how pissy I'd be likely to get if I then turned up and they didn't have one for me. A considerably larger part of me (about me-sized... me minus the small pea-sized part) doesn't care.
So I've been playing Wii Sports (badly) and Zelda (also badly) and Call of Duty (incredibly badly) ever since. And what a glorious time I've been having. I don't think I can add anything to the enthusaistic reviews of the Wii that can be found littering the internet. Go and read them if you must. Even better - go and buy one and try it for yourself!
I suppose, given the title of this post that I should mention some animals. My mum, who is rapidly approaching her 60th birthday, desperately wants a toroise. No one knows why. She just does. So we're gonna buy her one (or possibly two). That's it really...
* Sorry, Gerald. I couldn't help it.
** see what I did there with the Nirvana connection and the hands? See? See? I'm such a wag!
