The Perturbed Dragon Episode Two: The New Guy

Here's the awesome second episode of The Perturbed Dragon.  This one has my favourite character, Dave the Orc, who joins the gang for a game of Real Life.  But will he fit in...?

Higgs' Theme Song...

Anyone who's sat next to me at work for any length of time will be painfully aware of my little singing habit.  Yeah, I sing at my desk.

Nothing mind blowing.  Just annoying little songs consisting of someone's name shoehorned into an existing tune.

For example, when Hannah sits next to me, she gets the chorus of 'America' from West Side Story in the ear:  'Hamina hamina ham-in-ah.'

Kate will be sitting next to me for the first time on Tuesday.  She doesn't know it yet, but I've already selected her theme tune - Black Beauty.  Not because she looks like a horse or anything - just because I like the tune and it works well with: 'Kay-teeeee, katy katy katy kay-teeeeeee'.

My singing is not limited to people in the office.  Dr K is regularly subjected to full blown musical epics about her jubblies and various other parts of her anatomy.  After all these years, she's learned to block it out.

But the subject of my post is not any of these people, but rather, Higgins, the new kitten with the stinkiest arse on the planet.  Stinkier, even then mine.  And I sing all about it.

It all started when I knocked together this little image:

It was a simple case of replacing all the references to things that weren't Higgs with...  er...  Higgs.

"Hey, Higgs, what you doin'? Hey Higgs, where you goin'? Who's that girl? Who's that girl?  It's HIGGS!'

Then I got to replacing words from other songs...

"Go Higgins, go, go.  Go Higgins go, go.  Higgins be good!"

No such luck.  She's an evil little bitch...

"Higgs, glorious Higgs.  Black, tiny and furry..."

"I see a little silhouetto of a cat..."

"Higgly doo dah, Higgly ay.  My oh my what a Higgly day.  Plenty of  cat shit coming my way.  Higgly doo dah, higgly ay."

Because she poos a lot.  Sometimes in the litter tray.

And then of course, I became a bit poo obsessed:

"One shit is not enough, but is the perfect place to start my love.  If it smells strong enough, together we can take the world apart my love..."

And another classic Bond song:

"One golden plop means another poor victim, will smell Higgins' shittering end.  For a price she'll shit on anyone.  The cat with the shitty bum!"

"Don't cry when you smell my arsehole.  The truth is I did a big shit..."

"The house is alive with the smell of cat shit.  A smell that's around for a thousand years..."

 "Smells like Higgs' arsehole..."

Okay, that last one wasn't actually a lyric.  But I thought it made for a funny picture...

The Perturbed Dragon Episode One: The New Game

Well, it's finally here. The premiere of our cartoon, The Perturbed Dragon.

We've been working on this for six months.  I've spent nearly every spare moment animating this!  I really hope you enjoy it!

On a tangenital, but slightly connected note: why are people on Facebook so eager to share vaguely amusing kitten photos taken by anonymous internet residents, but so reluctant to share stuff that their friends have worked hard to create?

Kiss My Shiny Axe

You may be wondering where my blog post is this week.

Well, it kinda got neglected because of my long-gestating cartoon series which is almost finished.  It will, in fact be premiering next week.  NEXT WEEK!

To celebrate, I made a trailer:

Dr K's Kitten Rules

Dr K has been finding the new kitten quite stressful.  As such, she felt it would be helpful to share some words of wisdom so that others don't have to suffer the way she has.  I have drawn some lovely pictures to go along with her advice:

Dr K says: If you want to keep something safe never let it dangle. As part of this rule never hang smalls on the bottom level of the clothes horse.  (I think 'smalls' must be her underpants.  Mine definitely aren't small)

Dr K says: If you let the fur kids in the bedroom at night keep all naked limbs (especially feet) under the bed covers at all times 

Dr K says: Create and maintain adequate air lock systems the front and back doors of the house.

Dr K says: Block up all small holes or air gaps in everything... literally everything... Best to have a divan beds if at all possible.

Dr K says: Double check the dishwasher / washing machine / tumble dryer for small furry animals before starting a wash cycle.  (It's one way to make sure they're clean...)

Dr K says: Be ready with the poop scoop and air freshener at all times! (I thought these were 'kitten' rules!)

Dr K says: Never walk around the house in bare feet. There will be all sorts of things around the house to step on (or in).  (Heh...  Higgins pooed on Dr K's foot the other day!)

Dr K says: Don't expect to be able to wear tights until the kitten is at least a year old. (Damn.)

Dr K says: Never open the wardrobe before bedtime... they will be impossible to extract, but will scrabble around in there for hours!


I have pulled all of these rules together into a single, helpful poster that you can print out and keep:

Finally, I have drawn an extra picture that will help you identify potential ambush locations for your kitten.  Can you spot them all?