Rasher

My brother was having a bacon sandwich. What more excuse do I need to mock up a bacon themed tabloid rag?

Admit it... you'd subscribe.

A Tiny, Tiny Tardigrade video!

How would you like me to use my smooth, silky, soothing voice to read you an extract from The Tiny Tiny Tardigrade? You would?  Well you're in luck!

The Badfinger Swearing Chart

As any seasoned writer* will tell you, one of the most important things about writing a book is having a complete understanding of the number of naughty words in it. And what better way to enhance one's understanding, than to break it down in a chart or two?

This is one of the exciting new charts that I produced for Badfinger. It breaks down the usage of naughty words used inside the book, Now, if you're a prude, you can make an informed decision on whether or not you want to read the book. Huzzah.

In other news, Dr K is proof reading the latest, and hopefully last proof copy. Assuming she doesn't find any horrific problems in there, I should be able to submit the book to Amazon really, really soon!

Also, for old-time's sake...

( *Of which I am not one.)

Cover Art

Fancy a sneak peak at the cover art for Badfinger?

What we have here is a pie chart. I counted the words in each section of the book, so each slice is an accurate representation of the content.

I like pie.

Incoming Badfinger

Not content with having one book listed on Amazon, I have been secretly preparing a second awesome literary masterpiece. It's going to be called 'Badfinger' and it is a compilation of some of the best posts from this here blog.

Here's a sneak preview of it:

Sweet, huh?

It still needs a little tweaking, and then there's some proof reading to do, but you will be able to hold it in your grubby little hands very, very soon!

Tardigrades

Here is a picture of yours truly reading The Tiny, Tiny Tardigrade to my niece.  I think she liked it.

Merry Christmas and all that jazz

Here's a quick Christmas post for you. If you're reading this on Christmas morning, I'll be in my car heading North to visit people that I'm related to. I expect to eat a lot of food and be given many presents.

More importantly, I'm going to be giving my niece her new cuddly tardigrade and accompanying book!  I hope she likes them!

Merry Christmas!

The Tiny, Tiny Tardigrade

As of today, the children's book that I wrote with the lovely and clever Dr K is available on Amazon for you to spend your moneypounds on. It's full of delightful pictures and also some words. But mostly pictures.

Here's the blurb:

"It's never too early to start teaching your child about some of the amazing things that exist in nature. THE TINY, TINY TARDIGRADE is a book about tardigrades (also known as water bears or moss piglets) for inquisitive pre-school children. Large, colourful pictures help children and their parents learn about these fascinating creatures.

This book was written and illustrated by Darren Morrissey and Karen Verrall, at least one of whom is a real scientist.

Available now on Amazon in paperback and for Kindle."

As you might expect, there's an odd little story around how this came about.

I have a niece. She's nearly two. In order to avoid horrible stereotyping, I have made sure that most of the gifts I have given her over the course of her short life are completely gender neutral.  Hence the cuddly Batman toy and the cuddly Spider-Man toy and the outfits with skulls on and so-on. Completely gender neutral (ahem).

So when I saw a plush tardigrade for sale on eBay, I couldn't resist. After all, what self respecting (almost) two year old wouldn't want a cuddly tardigrade?

And then I thought... her dad isn't too bright. He's a Morrissey, after all. There's an outside chance that he won't know what a tardigrade is.

So I wrote a book to explain it all. Obviously.

The Long Cheese

I'm thinking of writing a crime novel set in Indianapolis. Here's my opening paragraph:

"It was a dark and sporty night. Detective Sporty McSportson took shelter in one of the many sports bars. While he waited for the sports to stop, he watched sports on the grainy TV. Suddenly, he heard a sporty scream, which made him spill his cheese!"

Thriftuary 2014 - Part Four

£80.77.  That's the final tally for our Thriftuary spending.

That's just over £40 per person for a whole month, which isn't bad at all.

Now, there is an important consideration.  For various reasons there were a number of meals that we got for free. Some of them were on expenses or were generously donated by friends in some form or another (Dr K was invited to a birthday party where there was chicken.  She brought me a doggy bag). One of them was a stag do meal that I couldn't get out of. Those haven't been included in the final figure. Nor have the occasional freebies: office cakes, office sweets, donated Twixes and so-on.

If we were to assume that we'd had the scheduled meal instead of the free meal, we would have spent an additional £7.30, which makes the final total £88.07. That's still £9.53 less than last year, and still only around £44 per person. I still haven't included the twix!

There's a few of interesting things that have become apparent as a result of this years challenge:

1. A little bit of planning means that you don't need to go hungry. As long as you like mince based meals.
2. In the event that my boss finally notices that I never do any work and sacks me, I will be able to afford to eat handsomely on just £40 per month.
3. I have a lot of very excellent friends, who wouldn't let me go hungry!

Here's a chart showing the daily totals for the entire month, with 2013's chucked in for comparison.

Date	2013	2014	2013 Total	2014 Total
1-Feb	£2.30	£2.28	£2.30	£2.28
2-Feb	£4.12	£3.79	£6.42	£6.07
3-Feb	£3.08	£2.37	£9.50	£8.44
4-Feb	£0.63	£3.44	£10.13	£11.88
5-Feb	£4.09	£3.52	£14.22	£15.40
6-Feb	£2.21	£3.21	£16.43	£18.61
7-Feb	£3.05	£3.74	£19.48	£22.35
8-Feb	£7.31	£3.96	£26.79	£26.31
9-Feb	£3.99	£3.69	£30.78	£30.00
10-Feb	£3.79	£1.22	£34.57	£31.22
11-Feb	£1.39	£0.88	£35.96	£32.10
12-Feb	£3.70	£1.22	£39.66	£33.32
13-Feb	£4.63	£3.13	£44.29	£36.45
14-Feb	£5.48	£2.88	£49.77	£39.33
15-Feb	£2.69	£3.79	£52.46	£43.12
16-Feb	£5.45	£2.34	£57.91	£45.46
17-Feb	£6.69	£3.26	£64.60	£48.72
18-Feb	£2.38	£3.41	£66.98	£52.13
19-Feb	£1.76	£1.93	£68.74	£54.06
20-Feb	£2.12	£1.09	£70.86	£55.15
21-Feb	£2.94	£2.84	£73.80	£57.99
22-Feb	£6.32	£0.83	£80.12	£58.82
23-Feb	£1.75	£2.13	£81.87	£60.95
24-Feb	£3.25	£3.51	£85.12	£64.46
25-Feb	£2.06	£3.24	£87.18	£67.70
26-Feb	£4.46	£6.70	£91.64	£74.40
27-Feb	£3.92	£2.37	£95.56	£76.77
28-Feb	£2.04	£4.00	£97.60	£80.77