Dazza & Kazza's Grand Antipodean Adventure

I'm off on my holidays with the mighty Dr K. Follow our progress over here:

http://ozdk.blogspot.com/

A New Car

Woohoo. My new car arrived yesterday. A shiny red Focus. As it was delivered home I've had to wait until now to actually see it in daylight! Oooooh... pretty...

I'm a bit scared...

...by this rather precarious pile of washing up that Kazza has done.

It's a bit like Jenga. Often in the morning, I'll come downstairs and need a mug or a bowl from the bottom of the pile. So I'm subjected to a rather complicated process whereby each item must be removed in exactly the right oder, without disturbing the delicate balance of the structure! It's a good way to get started in the morning - kinda like doing a bit of Brain Training!

Microwave Jug Handle Detector Circuit

I'm absolutely convinced that our microwave is equipped with a handle detector. Whenever I put a jug,mug or other receptacle with a handle into the microwave, without fail at the end of the programme, it ends up with the handle pointing towards the back of the microwave, meaning I have to grope around at the back to get it out. EVERY TIME!

I've tried fooling it. Putting the handle in at the back or the side in an effort to affect the final handle position, but to no avail. It always points directly backward.

I've even tried experimenting with it, to make sure that the phenomoenon is not just a random one. I've put a jug in, handle forward for exactly a minute. At the end of the programme the handle points backwards. I've put a jug in, handle backward, with the same result.

How the hell is this happening??? I think it might be eating away at my sanity. Someone help, please!

A funny thing happened in the supermarket...

I had a minor incident in the supermarket today. I had to pop in there on my way to Stead's house to grab some bits and pieces for lunch.

As I was walking down the (rather busy) bread aisle, searching for some tasty baps I felt movement in my jeans. A strange shifting, if you like. I knew I hadn't soiled myself, and I was pretty sure that I hadn't passed a ferret farm on my way to Tesco.

The offending object began to work it's way down my left leg. I looked around. There were several people in the aisle with me, so I couldn't exactly whip my trews off to see what it was. I had to shake my leg and work it down, until it was near my shoe. Then I crouched as if to do my shoe laces up (not very convincing to anyone paying attention as I was wearing slip-ons) and snuck the item out of my trouser leg.

It was a sock.

Sorry. That was a bit of an anti climax, wasn't it. It seems that when I got undressed last night and carelessly tossed my clothes on the floor, one of my socks found its way into my jeans and then, when I pulled 'em on this morning I failed to check 'em for stowaway socks. Odd thing is though, I'd been up and about for a couple of hours before the sock made it's presence felt.

Anyway... sorry to have wasted your time!

There's no such thing as too much Mr T

This won't be controversial at all!

Nope. Not even slightly.

Hollywood takes action hero Jesus to India

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Hollywood is to fill in the Bible's "missing years" with a story about Jesus as a wandering mystic who travelled across India, living in Buddhist monasteries and speaking out against the iniquities of the country's caste system.
Film producers have delved deep into revisionist scholarship to piece together what they say was Jesus's life between the ages of 13 and 30, a period untouched by the recognised gospels.

The result is the Aquarian Gospel, a $20m movie, which portrays Jesus as a holy man and teacher inspired by a myriad of eastern religions in India. The Aquarian Gospel takes its name from a century-old book that examined Christianity's eastern roots and is in its 53rd reprint.
[...]
The film, which is due for release in 2009, sets out to be a fantasy action adventure account of Jesus's life with the three wise men as his mentors. Although the producers say the film will feature a "young and beautiful" princess, it is not clear whether Jesus is to have a love interest.

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Yeah. Action hero Jesus. 'And yea, I say unto you, Yippie Kai Ay oh, lovers of the mother!'

For $20m, it ain't exactly gonna be a big deal...

My favourite quote of the day!

"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar's marriage with a bitch."

heh heh heh...

Strangely, in context it's even odder...

Man 'marries' dog to beat curse

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An Indian man has "married" a female dog, hoping the move will help atone for stoning two other dogs to death.
P Selvakumar, 33, said he had been cursed since the killings, suffering paralysis and a loss of hearing.

The wedding took place at a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu state. The "bride" wore an orange sari with a flower garland and was fed a bun to celebrate.

Superstitious people in rural India sometimes organise weddings to animals in the hope of warding off curses.

'Tried every cure'

Crowds cheered the newly-weds at the end of the ceremony in Sivaganga district, about 50km (30 miles) east of the city of Madurai.

The "bride", who is called Selvi, was led to the temple in Manamudurai wearing a sari before vows were exchanged in a traditional Hindu ceremony.

A relative of the groom who attended the wedding said he hoped Mr Selvakumar would now be cured.

"Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely," the relative, Ramu, told the BBC.

"He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.

"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar's marriage with a bitch."

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What's wrong with people?

I'm just...stunned.

I picked up an audioboook copy of Bill Bryson's Short History of Nearly Everything a few weeks ago from Waterstones for £18. Having listened to it, I stuck it on eBay. Yesterday evening, the bidding on it went up to £35. This is despite putting in the description 'This cost almost £20 new'. I was expecting about a tenner. Now I've almost doubled my money.

Checked my listings this morning to see how they'd ended. Bryson didn't go up any more, however the Mario Party 8 which was at £20 last time I looked had shot up to £30. That's... um... a fiver more than they could have got it from an Amazon seller and about £2 more than amazon are selling it new.

It wasn't that long ago that I flogged the PC version of the first Halo game for abut £18 on eBay. I'd paid less than a tenner for it on Amazon a few months beforehand.

I'm obviously on a roll. I'm gonna try flogging some of my old socks... or maybe some bread crusts...

A word of advice...

Don't use the teaspoon that you used to stir the extra thick instant gravy to later stir your tea. It tends to make the tea a bit chickeny.