How The Hell...? (Warning: this post contains poo!)

I would suggest that if you are in any way squeamish about matters of a fecal nature, you do not read today's post.

No, really - just move along, because there's gonna be a picture that you're not gonna like.

It's nasty.

Still with me?

Okay... Here it is. The nasty poo picture...

Any second now...

(Just making sure that the fecalphobes are really gone, cos this will really freak 'em out...)

Right. I consider anyone who's still reading to have given me consent to show them this picture:


This isn't a public loo, it's a work loo. In an office. Nasty, huh?

Now, it's not the presence of poo on the toilet that's upset me. I'm not condoning poo on the toilet or anything. It's disgusterous. Poo should either be in your bum or inside the toilet. If you're getting poo anywhere other than inside the toilet, then you're doing something horribly wrong.

But it's not the presence of poo on the toilet that is my primary concern this evening. It's the location of the poo on the toilet and how it could have got there. I mean, look at it. It's on the side of the toilet. In fact because the toilet bowl is curved, it's practically underneath the toilet.

Yuck.

Anyway. Here are my three main theories on how the poo ended up where it did:

1. Bouncy Poo

Perhaps the creator of this particular poo had swallowed a bouncy ball and, when it hit the bottom of the bowl, it bounced out between his legs, around the stall and eventually on the bottom of the loo.


Of course this theory would require the offender to have cleaned up the walls, floor and ceiling after himself, which seems unlikely.

2. Mutant Anus

Perhaps the offenders anus was in the back of his leg.



3. Vindapoo

Perhaps the poo was never on the outside. Perhaps the offender had enjoyed a vindaloo the night before and this poo had eaten it's way through the porcelain.



Please feel free to suggest any alternative possibilities.