The Beard Collective

What's the collective noun for beards?  A matt of beards?  A clump of beards?

Much discussion has been had about my ever expanding facial hair.  While most people agree* that the more beard I have, the more handsome I am, another vector of comment has generally been along comparative lives.  Specifically, that people think that my beard makes me look like other people.

I thought it would be interesting to illustrate this post with sketches of myself with the facial hair of the people I am accused of looking like.  So here goes:

The manager of my local comic book store told me that I looked like Brian Blessed.  Mr Blessed has the single most awesome beard of all time, so I consider the comparison to be a favourable one!

Several of my workmates seem to think that having a beard and wearing glasses means that I look like Ricky Tomlinson, because Ricky Tomlinson is the only other person in the world who has a beard and wears glasses.  Hah.  Bear and glasses only make me look like Ricky Tomlinson in the same way that having hair makes you look like Shane McGowan!

My boss' boss recently informed me that I reminded him of Rasputin.  Far be it from me to disagree with my boss' boss.  I'd like to think that I'm a bit less of a whack job than the Rasputin...  but I'd probably be deluding myself.

At the time I was accused of resembling Hagrid, I needed a haircut.  It wasn't this bad though.  I did, however, take the hint.

A couple of weeks ago, my Dad refused me entry to his house on the basis that I looked like a terrorist.  That said, he's a Daily Mail reader, so you can't really take anything he says seriously.

One of my nicer friends told me that I looked just like Teen Wolf.  You remember Teen Wolf, right?  That awesome movie where Michael J Fox played the handsomest basketball player in the world!  He's a bit like Hagrid's better looking younger brother.  As it happens, I have an older brother who's not as handsome as me, so the parallels run deep!

My favourite accusation though, took place just before Christmas when a mate informed me that I was almost certainly Young Santa.




( * by an unconventional definition of the word 'agree' )