Friday, July 13, 2007

Beware the Killer Badgers

British blamed for Basra badgers
British forces have denied rumours that they released a plague of ferocious badgers into the Iraqi city of Basra.
Word spread among the populace that UK troops had introduced strange man-eating, bear-like beasts into the area to sow panic
But several of the creatures, caught and killed by local farmers, have been identified by experts as honey badgers.

The rumours spread because the animals had appeared near the British base at Basra airport.

UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.

"We have been told these are indigenous nocturnal carnivores that don't attack humans unless cornered."

The director of Basra's veterinary hospital, Mushtaq Abdul-Mahdi, has inspected several of the animals' corpses.

He told the AFP news agency: "These appeared before the fall of the regime in 1986. They are known locally as Al-Girta.

"Talk that this animal was brought by the British forces is incorrect and unscientific."

Dr Ghazi Yaqub Azzam, deputy dean of Basra's veterinary college, speculated that the badgers were being driven towards the city because of flooding in marshland north of Basra.

But the assurances did little to convince some members of the public.

One housewife, Suad Hassan, 30, claimed she had been attacked by one of the badgers as she slept.

"My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer," she said. "It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey," she told AFP.


Heh heh heh... "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area."

Actually, I much prefer the calm measued reporting of the incident from the Australian Daily telegraph:

Giant badgers terrorise Iraqi port city
THE Iraqi port city of Basra, already prey to a nasty turf war between rival militia factions, has now been gripped by a scary rumour giant badgers are stalking the streets by night, eating humans.

The animals were allegedly released into the area by British forces.

Local farmers have caught and killed several of the beasts, but this has done nothing to dispel the rumour.

Iraqi scientists have attempted to calm things down. However, the story has spread like wildfire in the streets of the city and the villages round about.

Mushtaq Abdul-Mahdi, director of Basra's veterinary hospital, has inspected the corpses of several badgers and tries to reassure Iraqis that the animals are not a new post-war arrival in the region.

These animals appeared before the fall of the regime in 1986. They are known as Al-Ghirayri and locally as Al-Girta, he told AFP. Talk that this animal was brought by the British forces is incorrect and unscientific.

Not everybody is convinced.

I believe this animal appeared following a raid to the region by the British forces, said Ali Mohsen, a farmer in his 40s from Karmat Ali, near the air base used by the multinational force.

As we are close to the airport, they probably released this animal into the area.

[...]

British army spokesman Major David Gell said the animals were thought to be a kind of honey badger melivora capensis which can be fierce but are not usually dangerous to humans unless provoked.

They are native to the region but rare in Iraq. They're nocturnal carnivores with a fearsome reputation, but they don't stalk humans and carry them back to their lair, he said.

Both the scientists and the soldiers agree that the badger ought not to be a danger to humans, but so far they have failed to reassure the populace.

[...]

Sattar Jabbar, a 50-year-old local farmer from Abu Sakhar north of Basra, believes the badger can tackle even large prey.

I saw it three days ago at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece. I tried to shoot it with my gun but it ran away into the orchards. I missed it, he said.


All together now... badger badger badger...

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Inane Babble

Just to make up for the general quietness on here recently, here is some of my trademarked inane babble for you to enjoy:

[babble]

There's a new girl in my office. She's quite petite and a redhead. Not bad looking. Today, however she's wearing a jumper that makes her look like a bumble bee. And she has a habit of showing bum cleavage which, contrary to expactations, isn't very nice. So there's a whole bumblebee bum cleavage thing going on there. I wonder what she'll dress as tomorrow.

I'm also enjoying the view outside my window at the moment. It's been a pretty deary miserable day and has been raining on and off, and it's amusing me to watch the poor, poor smokers who now have to huddle under the one tree in the car park while they smoe their fags. They all look really miserable.

Also, my right hand has been twitching all day. My little finger and my thumb keep going in unison and I don't know why. Also my index finger keeps going off and I find myself accidentally clicking stuff with the mouse. It's quite comical. And I have a tiny bit of pins and needles in the fingers of both hands. Am I going to die?

[/babble]

Thursday, July 05, 2007

18th Century France smells really bad!

Last night, Dr Karen and I watched Perfume: the story of a murderer on DVD.

It's a pretty odd movie about a guy who has a super duper sense of smell - kinda like a super power. It's set in 18th century france, which smelled really bad, so he hasn't got a lot going for him! Anyway, he decides to become a perfumier and then decides that he has to make the perfect scent, which he can only go by...er... distilling the scent of various hot french chicks. By killing them, obviously.

They guy playing the lead, Ben Whishaw, who I've never heard of, was very good in his part - not very eloquent, but sniffs really well and has some pretty good body language going on.

Dustin Hoffman plays a professional italian perfumier who hires Sniffer Boy, but since the rest of the cast is English, puts on a decidedly ropey english accent. It doesn't detract from the movie though - he just comes off as a bit odd, which is perfectly in keeping with pretty much everything else in the film.

Alan Rickman turns up half way through the film and lends his...er... Alan Rickmanness to the proceedings. He's always cool. Oh and John Hurt adds his dulcet tones to the mix as a narrator.

It's not actually a gory film, although the first few minutes have some yucky close ups of some rather unpleasant bits and pieces, depicting the nasty grimness of the slums in which the main character is born. After that, it's not so bad. There are several boobies in it and the end is totally unexpected and rather naked. More naked than you could possibly imagine!

I really enjoyed it and I think Dr K did too. Another great movie that ignores Hollywood conventions and goes off and does it's own thing! Watch it if you get a chance.