Gullibility

So the other day I was being told by a mate about a work colleague who had fallen for one of these Advance Fee Scams. In honour of our more moronic friends, I have prepared the following missive:

DEAR GULLIBLE NUMPTYSIR

I HAVE BEEN GIVEN YOUR NAME IN GOOD FAITH AS A RISPECTABLE BUSNESS MAN AND WOULD LIKE TO ENGAGE YOU SERVISES IN A FRAUDULENT TRANSACITION.

I AM PRINCE ADOWULIE OLOWOYA SMITH A MANAGING DIRECTOR OF THE POTS AND PANS DIVISION OF SOME DODGY SOUNDING BANK IN A COUNTRY YOU HAVE NEVER HERD OF. I AM PLANNING TO STEAL A ZILLION QUID FROM THE BANK. NORMILY I WOUL THINK UP A CONVOLUTED STORY ABOUT CUSTOMERS POPPING THERE CLOGS WITHOUT LEVING A WILL OR A BUSIONESS DEAL GON PECYOOLIAR, BUT FRANKLY, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED BECUS I AM COUNTIN ON YOU TO LOOK AT THE ENORMUS NUMBERR OF ZEROES IN THIS FIGURE WHAT I HAVE HIGHLITED IN BOLD TO MAKE IT LOOK MOR CONVINCING: $50,000,000,000.

IF YOU HELP ME STEAL THIS MONEY I WILL LET YOU HAVE SOME OF IT.

I AM AN HONEST FRAUDSTER AND OF COURSE I WILL NOT RIP YOU OFF.

GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL YOUR PETS

Making a Splash

I just spilled coffee all over my desk. And my keyboard. And my mobile phone. And my keys. And a handful of business cards. And a file full of terribly important bits of paper.

Oh dear.

On the plus side, my phone is drying out nicely and, after a bit of a shake, my keyboard seems fine.

Chopin

It's only half past seven in the morning, but I have already learned something new today.

My clock/radio is set to come on playing Classic FM, for some reason. I think it's the only station that I can get clear reception on, but it's pretty dumb because at 6am they play 'relaxing classics' which is exactly what I need to motivate me to get out of bed, eh?

Anyway this morning they were playing a avery familiar tune. I couldn't place it for a moment, but then it dawned on me. Monty Python's Oliver Cromwell song. You know the one:

Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England
PURITAN
Born in 1599 and died in 1658
SEPTEMBER
Was at first
ONLY
MP for Huntingdon
BUT THEN
He led the Ironside Cavalry at Marston Moor in 1644 and won.
Then he founded the New Model Army
And praise be, beat the Cavaliers at Naseby...

Now, obviously Classic FM's Relaxing Classic are hardly going to play Monty Python songs at 6 in the morning. What they were actually playing was of course Chopin's Polonaise (Op something or other).

So there you go. Today I learned that Monty Python nicked Chopin's music for their Oliver Cromwell song.

Splendid.