Wednesday, August 17, 2005

My name is Darren and I am a Numpty

Yes, yes. I know. You all figured that out already. But I only realised this evening that I just plain shouldn't be allowed out on my own!

I had to pop over to Stead's this evening to do a bit of heavy lifting. Having got changed, I decided that I wouldn't need my wallet, so I left it on the bed.

Having done my little weight training session, I headed back home, but along the way decided to pick up a few things from Tesco. I parked up, wandered in, filled a basket with stuff and went to the ceckout to pay, carefully selecting the one with the most attractive girl (alright, alright she was a bit yound for me - but a guy can dream can't he?). It was only after I had laid out all of my stuff on the little conveyor belt that I remembered the location of my means of payment.

Redfaced, I explained my predicament to the attractive girl at the checkout. It was at this point that something truly amazing happened!

It seems that Tesco have a process for dealing with utter morons who leave their wallets at home. They scan all your goods, bag em up, then put them to one side, giving you a little receipt with a barcode on. You can then rush home, grab your wallet, come back and pay without all that tedious mucking about holding up the queue while someone comes and gets rid of your pile of stuff.

Hooray for Tesco.

As a punishment for my lack of brain activity however, you may all refer to me in a derogatory fashion... preferably calling my mental capacity into question. I particularly encourage the use of phrases such as 'dumb f*ck', 'f*ckwit' and 'total f*cking moron'.

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