Phone Zombies

These fine gentlemen are the Phone-Zombies.

Phone Zombies genuinely believe the the 'mobile' part of the term 'mobile phone' means that they MUST be mobile whilst using their phone. So they get up from their desk and shamble around the office, utterly unaware of their surroundings.

Not content with taking up valuable corridor space, they create even more of a navigational challenge by stepping sideways or even backwards without any warning. They wander up and down, and into meeting rooms. They perform desk circuits, often stopping right behind hard working colleagues to make loud and important contributions to their teleconferences. They are also attracted to windows. In extreme cases, they even shamble into the toilets to take a dump whilst mindlessly chattering into their phone.

Scientists recently completed a scientific study, where they studied the shambling habits of Phone Zombies scientifically. They created an 'average' office floor plan and used science to project the probable movements of the Phone Zombies based on a given starting point. Here is that floor plan with a couple of those Phone Zombie Projections (PZPs):







As you can see, the shambling patterns are very complex and if there is more than one Phone Zombie on the prowl, there is nowhere you can hide.

There is no cure for phone zombification. All you can do is stay out of their way and hope they don't infect you!

Here is a helpful public information poster that you can put up in your office if you are experiencing a Phone Zombie Epidemic: