Okay, first things first.m did you pull my finger last night or did you just stare at it wondering what the hell kind of rubbish blog post I was trying to palm off on you?
If you're in the latter group, perhaps you should revisit the post!
Now, back to business.
It would appear that several of my workmates enjoyed Friday's post which looked back fondly on my years in Bedminster. And now they're eager to read some thoughts on my first day in the new office.
Well. I arrived nice and early, in order to choose the best desk for myself. I chose the desk based primarily on it's proximity to a window. And it's lucky I chose the one I did, because as far as I can tell, it was the only desk that was wired up properly.
IT problems aside, there are a few issues that stand out to me:
Firstly, I couldn't find the toilets. I looked everywhere for them. There was a room that seemed to approximate toilets, but it didn't stink of piss and drains and there was no poo smeared around, so it couldn't possibly be the toilet. In the end I had to use one of the many potted plants dotted around the building. It already smelled of wee, so that's alright.
The windows were clean. I could see right through them. That can't be right. I'm used to th view of the arse end of a sepia car park. I say 'sepia' because it was viewed through a thick brown film of grime from 3 years without washing! I don't want any of this high definition full colour rubbish. I want the classic view!
I had been assured that being moved to the biggest office in town would mean that my canteen woes were at an end. Well it turns out that was a lie. Although the canteen is certainly bigger and has crumpets, but overall the food quality appears to be the same. And did I mention that lunchtime was like a riot at a jumble sale?
It was explained to me in some detail that in this new office we had to completely clear our desks in the evening. If there was even one thing, other than the monitor, keyboard and mouse on the desk, then it wouldn't be cleaned. Cleaned? I don't think my desk in Bedminster was ever cleaned in the five years I was there. I laugh in the face of clean desks! I revel in the lethal bacteria that might be living there waiting to kill me from the inside out!
I popped outside during the day. There were no drunks, toothless crones or chavs. Now I know I've moved up in the world!
Well, that's it. Can I get back to writing proper posts now? You know, ones with stupid pictures of me doing stupid things!
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