It was clear from the off that something was up. Chris was subdued and Lucy kept throwing him looks.
It was only when Chris and I went out to pick up the curry that the horrible truth came out. He was the victim of domestic abuse.
Not the physical kind. The mental kind, which is much, much worse and doesn't require you to bang your eye on doors.
It turns out that Lucy is a terrible bigot and, when Chris tried to stand up for moral decency, she launched a devastating verbal attack which destroyed him mentally and emotionally!
You see, it seems that Lucy can't stand raisins. Or sultanas. Or currants. Any mention of 'their kind' prompts a torrent of hateful vitriol.
As a result, Chris is denied the pleasures of fruit cake, mince pies and Christmas pudding. And should he mention that he wants one of these things, Lucy responds with 'Of course you can' with a not-so-subtle undertone of 'But if you do, I'll beat you to a pulp with it!'
So I beseech you to remember the raisin deprived this Christmas and all those people out there who are subjected to anti-dried-fruit prejudice of any kind.
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