The Shelf Life Of Brownie Points

Wow, brownie points don't last long - if you can even accumulate enough to be worthwhile! It's like they're some sort of super-perishable soft fruit that goes mouldy before you even get them home from the supermarket.

Some examples:

Brownie points acquired from making a round of teas in the office last pretty much until the first sip of that round. No-one wants to return the favour when you get thirsty.

Brownie points acquired from preparing a sumptuous feast for your loved ones have neither the value nor the life expectancy to get a cup of tea made for you after said feast.

Brownie points gained from taking your mum Christmas shopping are actually reversed by the time you return home. By then, you owe your mum.

I've done a few (scientific) calculations and provide the following graph to illustrate how long you can expect your points to last:

From this we can take that you need to redeem your brownie points within thirty seconds of acquiring them. There's not much you can do with thirty seconds. I would suggest that carefully prepare your redemption plan well I. Advance. Here are some suggestions:

1. "Hello, darling. I've made you a cheese sandwich, do you mind signing this cheque/application/order-form."

2. "Hey, I bought you diamonds. Can I have a Lego Death Star?"

3. "Look, I've decorated the whole house for you. Oh and I may have killed your goldfish."