Separate Beds

I've got something to say. It's not going to be easy to read, but I just have to get it off my chest.

I think we should get separate beds.

It's not that I don't love you any more. I do love you. You're ace.

But I just find sharing a bed with you far more trouble than it's worth. You hog the duvet. You make weird noises. You keep kicking me in your sleep - sometimes in the chest! You encroach on my side of the bed and drool on my pillow. I keep inhaling your hair. And your breath... it smells like a badger died of dysentery in your mouth.

It wouldn't be a problem if I coud lie in, but I have to get up really early and so I need a good nights sleep.

So from now on, I'd be really grateful if you could just go and find somewhere else to spend the night, so I can get my beauty sleep.

Thanks, cats. I knew you'd understand.