So, having driven all the way to Hereford and back to collect a sofa for Stead's house we discovered that, no matter which way we tried to do it, the damn thing just wouldn't fit down his hallway.
Obviously, Stead being a calm and rational human being, took this news in a calm and rational manner, applying a positive spin to the occasion. I have slightly edited the wording of his rant-style monologue to protect those of a sensitive nature. All epithets have been replaced with asterisks:
"****! *** **** ******* ****! ****! ******, **** ******** ******!!! ***** ***** *** *******! **** **** ***!!!"
At this point, the sofa, which was tightly wedged between the staircase and the opposing wall, was subjected to a barrage of calmly rational kicks and blows, then pulled back and repeatedly slammed back into place in a calm and rational effort to free it from it's predicament.
Unfortunately, I had been providing a support function behind the sofa and received many blows to the head from said furniture. Lucky sofas are soft, eh? That said, I'm not sure anyone would have noticed had I received severe head injuries and suffered brain damage...
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