Tea

Now, I'm not actually going to rant about tea in this post, despite the title. Tea gives me no problem at all. In fact i love tea. It's an unreasonable level of love (and possibly entirely inappropriate) given that I am a man and tea is a hot beverage, but the truth of it is that if I could have it's babies, I would.
So we've established that I like tea.
So anyway. I was watching the news the other morning and there was an article on it about tea. Apparently if you add milk to it, it loses some of it's health benefits. I'm not going to rant about that either, cos I don't care. What I am going to rant about is Peppermint Tea. And Camomile Tea. And Fragrant Dandelion and Grass Clippings Tea.
Let me explain to everyone how tea is made. You take a tea plant. You cut its leaves off and you pour hot water on them You now have tea. Doing the same with nettles does not make tea. It makes some sort of nettle drink. Tea is called tea because it's made from tea. That's it's defining quality. That's what makes it different from cola or orange squash.
So could all these people who ponce around the office with their Rasberry Tea and their Daffodil and Floor Sweepings Tea please refrain from calling it something it's not. Otherwise we may as well start calling all our other drinks 'tea;. I'm off to the pub for a few teas and maybe a coupla tea chasers. I'd like a glass of merlot tea with my dinner.
And why stop with drinks? If we're in the business of calling non-tea stuff tea, lets just call EVERYTHING 'tea'. Gotta make a tea call. I'm on the Tea. On my way to tea. Lovely tea we're having. The Tea in Iraq is a worry. Did you watch tea on the tea tonight? Gotta take a tea.
Ok, I'm finished now.