There seems to be a really fundamental lack of understanding both in my office and in the world of public toilets, in how to use a urinal. As I'm fed up of finding the Gents swimming in piss, I have prepared a simple guide which I propose should be stuck to the wall at head height above each and every urinal:
HOW TO USE THIS URINAL
1. Stand directly in front of and facing the urinal.
2. Direct your stream into the centre of the urinal.
You are equipped with a tool that points forward by default.There is no need to direct your stream onto the floor to the left or to the right of the urinal.
There is no need to direct your stream onto the floor in front of the urinal.
If you are unable to follow these simple instructions, then for god's sake, go into a cubicle and SIT THE HELL DOWN! What are you? A toddler?
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