Dazza Moo's Blog

So a mate and I have been exchanging e-mails all morning about the slew of cr*ppy TV programmes that crop up around all major cinema releases.

With the news that Discovery in the States will be showing a programme called 'The Science of Superman' in the next week or so, it's only a matter of time before Sky One or Channel Four wheel out the C-List celebrities to make important social commentary on the Superman Phenomenon:

Jade Goodie “Oh yes I remember superman – he had that cape and I ate cake while I watched him!”

Johnny Vegas: Yeah, Shpriderman wash my favourite shooper hero. I liked hish boots. And he had eight armsh. Whut? Oh. Shorry. Yesh, Shooperman wash my favourite shooper hero. I liked hish bootsh. And he had 8 armsh… hic…

Posh spice – “Yeah superman was cool because he was early girl power too! And I used to watch him when I never ate anything other than rice cakes and water”

Jonathan Ross: I particularly liked Superman because I could pronounce his name properly, despite the pwesence of an ‘R’.. The Kwyptonite was a nice plot device and Bwaniac was my favouwite baddie. Oh… sh*t.

Tony Blair : “Superman was great (smarm) because he embodied everything we wanted to do with New Labour you know like spinning the truth so that people didn’t know whether they were coming or going and blowing the fiscal budget on stupid expenses.”

Mr T: Superman? He's a Foo. I ain't got no time for your crazy super jibber-jabber, sucker!

The Shat: Superman, yes I... remember. Fought him once. Beat him with my patented... back-thumping technique, then... seduced Lois Lane. I'm Denny Crane.

Vicki Pollard: Yerbut, nobbut, yerbut, I wuz Superman's girlfriend but I dumped 'im cus 'e got off with Courtney Thribble behind the Spar on Stapleton Road what sells cider to kids. Shut up, I got four bottles of strongbow and a packet of fags from the boy behind the counter cus I said would have s*x wiv 'im but I wuz only joken' cus I never had s*x wiv 'im but he went and told Sharon Bishop, who's a b*tch, that I 'ad s*x wiv 'im and she went an' told Tracey Jones who's a slag cus she peed on the back seat in the number 42 an' then said it wuz me, but I never did cus I wasn't even there that day...