Advice For A 13 Year Old Me

A couple of weeks ago, I was given a cake by a 13 year old boy.  In return, I gave him some valuable avice: never eat yellow snow.  I know, I know.  It's an oldie, but he was 13, so he's probably never seen it before.

I also accidentally said a bad word in front of him (and his mum), which just goes to show that I'm just not cut out to hang around with kids.

The cake was nice though.

Anyway, it got me to thinking.  In the event that I manage to invent some sort of time travel device, what advice would I give to my 13 year old self that will stand him in good stead over the years?*

Well...  here's my list:

1. Don't say bad words to children in front of their mums.  They don't like it.  The mums that is; the kids are fine with it! 

2. Curry is brilliant, and the hotter it is, the better.  Start acclimatising yourself now, instead of waiting 'til you leave home.  It'll be worth it! 

3. When you get made redundant in a few years, don't worry about your move to Bristol.  It's brilliant here and there are some amazing friends to be made. 

4. Grow a beard at the earliest opportunity.  Beards are awesome and the earlier you start, the bigger it'll get.  Also, it'll really pi... er... annoy your Mum. 

5. Lost doesn't get any better.  Really.  It doesn't. 

6. You don't have enough Star Wars Lego.  Even when you think you do, you don't. 

7. Speaking of Star Wars, don't get too excited by that prequel. 

8. No-one else has a clue what's going on either.  This goes double for anyone that claims they do.

9. Dr K lives at [REDACTED].  Go straight there.  Do not pass Go.  Do not collect £200.  Actually...  free money always comes in handy.  You can collect that.  But then go to Dr K's house.  She makes muffins.  

Okay, so it's probably not the bet thought out or useful list in the world.

What advice would you give yourself?

( * obviously I never will invent a time travel device, because I never did get this advice when I was 13. )