The Festive Season

Cunning, my plan is. Exceedingly so.
I have decided that I am prepared to accept the current trend of celebrating of Christmas for up to six weeks before the main event itself. During this period, I will engage, without complaint or humbugocity, in the general christmas merriment, the partying, the buying of secret santa gifts, the overabundant issuing of pointless colourful bits of card and the labelling of anyone who does not start celebrating the festive season six weeks beforehand as a 'miserable b*stard'.

Yes. I will do this thing.

On one condition.

The same celebratory period should be assigned to my birthday. Therefore, I declare that the entire month of February and the first half of March should be designated as 'Darren's Birthday Season'. As is traditional on one's birthday, everyone must be extra nice to me during this period. Gifts should be given. Songs of celebration should be sung. A minimum of 3 parties a week should be held in my honour. Everybody should annonymously purchase me a gift, Secret Santa style. Festive decorations should be put up in my honour. Calendars with chocolate in should be issued to everybody. Anyone who does not engage in merriment and Darren worshipping during this tradtional festive season should be branded a 'miserable b*stard' and be castigated as often as possible.

Thank you.

You may continue about your business.