After a few moments of making sense, the conversation degenerated into a discussion about what sort of manifesto I would concoct to get elected. This went exactly as you would expect.
The Dazza Moo
MANIFESTO
Economy
This is something that is foremost on everyone's mind. What should we do about the economy. To me the solution seems simple: We should upgrade to Business Class. There's more leg room and you get free drinks!
Environment
We should definitely have one of these. Otherwise, where would we stand? Or sit?
Jobs
I think he should be brought back from the dead, quite frankly. Apple seem a little bit confused without him and I kinda miss his plotting!
Sustainable Energy
Since we're rapidly running out of fossil fuels and no-one wants nuclear power plants near their house, or offshore windfarms or hydro-electric plants, I guess there's only one thing for it: Put unemployed people on treadmills.
The Welfare State
Well... all the unemployed people will be on treadmills, so they won't be unemployed any more. So they won't need benefits. That just leaves disabled or sick people, who absolutely should be paid benfits. And anyone caught faking disablement or sickeness will be disabled with a state approved baseball bat, so that they qualify properly.
Education
People should stay in school 'til they stop being stupid. That might mean that people stay in school for their entire lives. But they're stupid, so I don't care.
Crime & Civil Liberties
As far as I'm concerned, people have the right to do whever they like, with one exception: don't be a dick. So how about this: if you're a dick, you go to prison.
Health
I will pass a law requiring everyone to be healthy. Job done.
Finally, Spider-Man's dead uncle once said: 'With great power comes great responsibility' and I think there's something really valuable we can take away from the Spider-Man comics: primary coloured, skin tight unitards are awesome!
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