Irking - Part One: Cockbrella

I've had quite a bit of feedback though various channels that people are really missing my daily blog posts.

I've tried to explain that daily blogging is so 2011, but they won't have it.

I went on to point out that half of the fun in weekly blogging is the excitement and anticipation in the run up to the post on Sunday evening, but that was pooh-poohed.

Finally, I tried to appeal to common decency - daily blogging is really time consuming and creatively draining. They told me to go screw myself and get on with the damn blogging. And it had better be good, or a nut-kicking will ensue.

So for one week only, I'm going back to a daily blog format.

I have a theme for the week. Each post will address a single thing that irks me. And there will be a picture, because I know you like 'em! There may or may not be penises doing stuff!

So the first irking thing on my list is people insisting that I write daily blogs! Wankers!

Just kidding.

Actually, the first thing on my list is umbrellas. Because they're frickin' stupid.

I mean they keep the rain off if it's coming straight down. But when is the rain ever coming straight down? If it's raining, it's always bloody windy as well. So the rain just comes underneath em and gets you wet anyway. Stupid umbrellas.

But the biggest problem I have with umbrellas is the people underneath them. They're invariably dicks. Cue inevitable willy picture:

Here's a couple of examples of umbrella-wielding dickishness:

People invariably wield umbrellas at my head height and are oblivious to the fact that I'm in danger of losing an eye from the weaponised pointy bits around the outside.

Bristol has quite a lot of pedestrian sections that are half covered. This is handy when it's raining, because you can avoid getting wet. But there's only room for half the pedestrians under them. Guess where all the umbrella wielders walk!

So the moral for today is... Stop wielding umbrellas and get a hood. Or a hat. Or just get wet. It's not that bad!