They Call Me 'Three Castles' Morrissey

No, really. They do. 

Well... when I say 'they' I mean...  er...  me...

But I'm calling myself 'Three Castles' Morrissey this week because I went to see not one, not two but THREE awesome castles over the weekend.

It's became a bit of a tradition between Dr K and me to take each other on a little mystery trip to celebrate our respective birthdays.  And Dr K took me to Yorkshire.  And you know what?  You can't take more than  about three steps in Yorkshire without tripping over an awesome castle.

So, yeah.  We saw some castles.  Here's one:  It's Middleham Castle:

You can climb up bits of it.  So we did.  And here's a picture of the view:

It doesn't show, but it was hailing and blowing a gale when I took that picture.

Middleham Castle was home to Richard III.  I met him.  He seemed pretty 'armless, if you ask me.

Next up was Richmond Castle.  It had a full on tower, which was ace!  Here's Dr K being a monster, next to it.  Man, she's tall!

Since I'm not a humongous giant like Dr K, I had to climb up the tower to get up high. If you look really carefully, you can see me at the top in this photo:

Here's Richmond from the top of that tower.  It hailed on me while I was up there.

Finally, we went to see Bolton Castle which is in Castle Bolton.  Figure that one out.  Anyway - here's me pretending it's Moo Castle!

And, mostly because I've set the precendent with the other two castles, here's the view from the top.  In it, Dr K is taking a picture of me taking that picture.

 And here is the picture that Dr K took:

While we were up there, we also took a pretty rubbish picture of ourselves. We're a cute couple huh? It didn't hail on us, but damn, it was cold!

I'm not just obsessed with the top of castles though. Here's me in the very lowest point I could find. The beer cellar!

You will be pleased to know that I was able to locate a cream tea in the castle tearooms, which were a little bit like having lunch in a big stone refrigerator.

 We didn't just go to castles while we were there.  We also paid a visit to The Forbidden Corner which, it turned out was exactly the opposite of forbidden - they really wanted us in there. Almost as if it was a tourist attraction.

Anyway, The Forbidden Corner bills itself as 'the strangest place in the world'.  I dunno.  They've obviously never been to my house on a Tuesday evening, but there was a pretty odd collection of stuff in there.

Here, for example, is a creepy bearded bloke pointing the way.  And he's standing in front of a big bearded man carved out of a tree, who is also pointing the way..

And here's Dr K being eaten by...  well, I'm not sure what she's being eaten by.  But she came out of the other end just fine, so I guess she's pretty indigestible.

Here's the latest fashion in archways.  Fancy one of these over the door to your ensuite?  The dragons, I mean, not me.

 Here I am making eye contact with a naked lady. I'm very good at making eye contact as all of my female friends will affirm...  ahem...

Here is a pretty little garden with a pretty little Doctor in it.

And here is a fountain.

And here is...  er...  a... well it's obviously a...  nope... I give up.  I sat on it, anyway.

There was a Roman garrison there.  I don't think they were particularly pleased to see me.

As a point of interest, I had a very wet groin at the time that photo was taken.  There was a watery incident.  I will let you read into that whatever you like, but I can pretty much guarantee that you're wrong.

I have a lot more photos of the place, but I'm running out of time and space, so I'll quickly tell you about my curry:

It wasn't just any curry.  It had venison in it and it was delicious.  I only had venison because they'd run out of ostrich.

If I had one complaint about the weekend, it would be that Dr K managed to find the cottage with the most uncomfortable sofa on the planet.  Her side seemed fine, but mine was trying to kill me. I'm sure of it:

I will leave you with a delightful picture of Dr K.  She's so very pretty.