1. Do not use your indicator until you're half-way through your manoeuvre. It would give other drivers an unfair advantage if they knew what you were going to do before you do it.
2. Do ensure that your headlights are adjusted to their brightest setting. How else will you blind fellow drivers in their rear view mirrors?
3. Do not anticipate the need for others to change lane. They should bloody well get in right lane to start with!
4. Do leave lane changing until the very last moment! Everyone likes a surprise.
5. Do not look in your mirrors. You might see something you don't like!
6. Do stay in the middle lane. It's the best one.
7. Do not turn your headlights on unless it's really, really dark! Drivers who put their lights on at dusk, or in other poor visibility conditions are basically pussies!
8. Do make sure you cut into a lane unexpectedly right in front of lorries! Lorry drivers enjoy having to jam their brakes on. It relieves the monotony and it's not dangerous at all!
9. Do not change your driving style if you're pulling a trailer or caravan, or driving a hired lorry. It's okay. All vehicles handle exactly the same!
If you follow these rules, you probably won't be safe, but you should fit in nicely with all the other arseholes!
No comments:
Post a Comment