Here are some phrases that I hear regularly that irk me. Not because they're just a bit different to the way I choose to talk, but because they're stupid:
'Oftentimes'
An Americanism that turns up on my telly all the time. What's the second half of that word for? What does it add to my understanding of your sentence? Oh, that's right - it helps me understand that you're shit at talking!
'Myself'
Commonly used in a sentence to mean 'me', as in 'Please could you show myself that memo'. Also as in 'No, I couldn't, because you're a dick'.
'Yourself'
Similarly, 'I'll send this memo to yourself' is unacceptable.
'I could care less'
Americans use this on TV when they mean 'I couldn't care less'. I think it's because Americans on TV are a bit stupid, as it means exactly the opposite.
'Imma'
As in: 'Imma kick ur ass' or 'Imma do my chores'. It seems to be used to replace the phrase 'I am going to' or 'I will', with a collection of letters that basically 'I am a retard'.
'At this moment in time'
Now. For god's sake... NOW!
'Regular'
As far as I'm concerned, regularity is a measure of frequency, not size. If you offer me a 'regular' coffee, I'm going to assume that you're entering into an agreement to supply another one in an hour. And another one an hour after that and so-on.
'Off of'
See 'Oftentimes'. Then get off my blog.
'Do do'
As in 'We do do that'. There may be an obscure instance when the English language requires you to say the word 'do' twice in a row, but I really can't think of one. There's 'doo doo' though. And if you say 'do do', I'll probably just assume that you meant 'doo doo*'.
*which means 'poo'. Obviously.
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