For example, scientists in Stockholm trained chickens to show a preference for pretty ladies and a university in Hungary took the time to calculate the internal pressure produced by a pooing penguin.
They never really answer the questions that I consider to be important, though.
Here are nine things I'd like to have answered by science:
How do pubes know when to stop growing? Why don't mine go all the way down to my knees?
Why do people like the smell of their own farts? I think mine are brilliant, but they make Dr K's eyes bleed. She, on the other hand quite likes her own. If I had an aftershave made from the smell of her guffs, would she fancy me more?
Why do so many people consider voting to be too difficult?
What's better: cottage pie or curry? I love them both but can never decide which is better.
What does success smell like? I like to think that it smells of bacon, but I suspect that I'm wrong.
What does failure smell like, for that matter? Probably Dr K's guffs.
Why does my cat love the taste of ear wax? Seriously, he used to steal cotton buds out of the bin as a kitten and even now he loves a good lick of my finger if I scratch my ear. Ear wax tastes horrible.
Does everyone see the same colours? How do I know that what you see as red is the same as what I see as red?
Why is celery? More specifically, how can anyone like the taste of celery? It tastes worse than ear wax. Yuck.
2 comments:
I like celery, but not the smell of my farts. Some are tolerable, but some are plain evil!
That's not true and you know it. Rather than being appalled when you let rip with an eye-blessed, you are secretly proud.
Post a Comment