A Polite Notice

There's a sign near my office that reads as follows:


I'm sure you'll be surprised to know that I take great exception to it.

It's not a polite notice. It's a very curt notice. In fact it's so abrupt it verges on rude. Writing the words 'Polite Notice' at the top of a notice doesn't make it a polite notice. It doesn't change the nature of the notice at all. Either it's polite, or it's not.

Sadly belief to the contrary seems to have some traction and 'polite' notices are popping up everywhere. Normally, they're just bossy, or informational, but few of them are actually polite.

If you wanted to make a polite notice, it might look something like this:


And because it's so polite, you wouldn't really need to put the words 'Polite Notice' at the top of it. I mean, it would just be polite, whether it told you it's a polit notice or not. Polite is just polite, right?

Ah, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe writing writing 'Polite Notice' at the top of a notice actually makes whatever follows polite. No matter what.

I'll buy into that.

In that spirit, I present an alternative polite notice about parking:


What? It's not rude or offensive. It's polite. It says so right at the top of the notice, you twat!