I thought that my recent office move would take me away from those gross idiots, but it seems that I've gone from a building with 250 toilet twits to a building with 2500 toilet twits.
Today, I'd like to take issue with two habits that are particularly irking me.
The first is bogeys.
As you'd expect, we have standard toilet stalls in our office. the walls of these stalls are made of laminated wood. And on those walls, there are bogeys.
I can understand the need to pick one's nose. And I appreciate the consideration that these people have made toward picking their nose in private rather than, say at their desk.
What I can't work out is why there are bogeys on the walls. There just aren't any reasonable circumstances that I can think of to explain them.
Perhaps the walls act as bogey magnets, ripping the snot right out of people's noses and onto the wall. Could it be that the nose picker had some sort of fit right after picking his nose, accidentally distributing the bogeys liberally over the walls. Maybe they're not bogeys at all, but some sort of sap, oozing from the chipboard walls.
What it definitely can't be, is people picking their noses and wiping their ill-gotten bogeys on the wall. Because that would be gross. Especially as there's toilet paper right there!
The other thing that's been irking me about the toilets is the little puddle of piss just in front of the toilet in each stall.
The biology of the average man, combined with a little thing I like to call 'physics' means that urine is expelled from the body from a point slightly in front of the person with a forward arcing trajectory that make that little puddle impossible, unless the urinator is standing about a foot away from the toilet.
And no-one would do that, right? Because it's gross and bit stupid.
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