Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Bracism

A couple of my workmates have asked me to raise awareness of an insidious form of prejudice that goes almost unrecognised in today's world.

Bracism: discrimination against people who wear braces.

Not the trouser suspending kind. No, people who wear those are rightly ridiculed as they just look silly.

I'm talking about the kind that look like a miniature Hornby set on the teeth of otherwise normal(ish) looking people.

These people should not be harassed. They should not be pointed at in the street and they should not be talked about in corridors or by water coolers. And they should especially not be approached by people who are looking for something to run a tiny train on.

The fact is that people with braces are making an effort to better themselves. Rather than just brushing their teeth and, maybe flossing, they've gone the extra mile to give you a perfect set of gnashers to look at. They are, put simply, better than you.

Or at least they will be when they get their braces off.

Take the case of my workmate, Hannah. Today she had her braces removed and came into the office with her lovely new teeth. Gosh I was impressed. It improved her visage 100 fold.

Before she had her braces, her slightly wonky teeth offset her entire face, giving her a lopsided, unbrushed, slightly lumpy look. And now she looks like a princess. Take a look at these before and after sketches that I had the presence of mind to prepare:


Note how much lovelier she looks and how much nicer her hair is. The braces have even cured the minor liver condition that gave her yellow boss eyedness and an unhealthy pallor to her skin. Oh, and her teeth are nice, too!

Well done, Hannah. We're all proud of you and are grateful to you for making yourself so much easier to look at! Thank you.

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