Suicide cats!

I think my cats want to die.

They keep being where my feet are going. Often on the stairs. And Rochester keeps doing these slow motion dives in front of the car when I'm trying to park.

Fortunately, I'm very nimble on my feet. Nimble like a mountain goat. I'm also a very talented driver* so none of their half hearted attempts to end it all have been singularly unsuccessful.

Then there's next door's cat. Even though I keep charging at it in a murderous frenzy, it keeps wandering into our house and eating things. Maybe my murderous frenzies aren't quite convincing enough. I'll work on them.

(*as evidenced by my amazing parking on Friday night, where I attempted to parallel park my car three times before giving up and parking somewhere else. Fortunately there were no cats around.)