Bugger And Fuck

Shocking, huh? Rude words in a blog post! Bear with me, I have a good reason for it. Well... a reason anyway.

There's a lady in my office that keeps saying 'bugger'. Look, here she is:


Now, I have no real objection to profanity in the office. I've been known to use a few choice words myself, most notably the ever dependable 'fuck', 'cock', 'twathole', 'fucknugget', 'nob', 'thumbless fucking retard', 'jizzmaster', occasionally 'motherfucker' and once, I even used the 'C' word.

My objection to her use of the word 'bugger' is that she insists that it's not a swear word.

This lady, as you can see from the picture above, is a member of the pearl wearing twin-set brigade. She prides herself on being well spoken and well dressed and on her ability to network with the elite (which mostly consists of materialising next to them and standing just a little too close and engaging a fixed, creepy grin. It's either hilarious or really off-putting, depending on whether it's you she's picking on).

She regularly expresses her displeasure at my use of naughty words. Just yesterday she told me off for telling my computer to go fuck itself. Fuck.

Yet she routinely uses 'bugger' in place of mild exclamations. This, she explains, is acceptable because it's on the same level of profanity as 'oops' and 'darn'.

No, love. It's not. It's a verb referring to the act of sodomy. You know, like when a man puts his willy into someone's bottom.

It's just like saying 'fuck', only worse, because there are arses involved. You are, in fact, actually saying 'arse-fuck'.


See?