Friday, February 11, 2011

Dazza Vs The Stairs

I'm becoming suspicious of Dr K's intentions toward me. It's possible that she wants to kill me off.

There's no specific thing that I can put my finger on. There's the odd evil look that she throws my way, the occasional burst of maniacal cackling, and she has this bearded doll in her top drawer with a box of pins next to it.

Oh yes, and today she tried to push me down the stairs.

She disguised it as a friendly punch to the chest after I made some mildly derogatory comment about her appearance or something. But the brief flash of disappointment that crossed her face before she was able to stop it was enough to convince me that it was an attempt upon my life!

Fortunately, due to my superior sense of balance and my acrobatic grace (and also the fact that it was more of a light tap rather than an actual push per-se) meant that I didn't actually fall.

In order to show you how evil she is under her sweet and innocent exterior, I have prepared a dramatic first-person mock-up of how it could have been:


Evidence, I think you'll find, that would hold up extremely well when she's tried for my horrible murder!

I wonder if it's the lack of meat in my diet that repulses her so...

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