Sometimes it's because I don't wash them. When that happens, they smell bad and there's old sock fluff between my toes. But that's not really what I mean.
I have a weird patch of sort of brown freckly bits on the top of my feet. And a bit on the side. I've had them for as long as I can remember and have never given it much thought.
Look. To help you visualise it, here's a diagram:
Apparently it bugs Dr K. She thinks I'm some sort of freckly footed freak. Which makes a change from her thinking I'm a big nosed, hairy chinned, immature freak.
Anyway, she did a bit of Internet research and came up with a diagnosis. Apparently I suffer from something called Schamburg's Disease. The symptoms are mostly brown and, in really bad cases, itch a little bit. And it's incurable!
I wonder if this terrible affliction would qualify me for some sort of disability benefit. I could really go for a disabled badge, so I can go around parking inconsiderately.
Anyway, now that I have an incurable disease, I don't want you to treat me any differently. Except, you should probably be a little bit nicer than normal - not because of my incurable disease, but because if you're not, I'll show you my icky brown bits!
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