The Relative Horribleness Of Foreign Sweets #3: Poland

So then.  Today I have the pleasure of reviewing the foreign sweets supplied by the Fish Lady, who as I may have mentioned before, is foreign.

Polish, if you want to be specific about it.

Anyway, these sweets were hand-picked by the Fish Lady herself and, presumably, represent the finest confections available in the great country of Poland.

We'll start with the presentation:





As you can see, today's foreign sweets came in a personalised paper bag of the white variety. It was smart enough but, in my opinion, lacked the colourful pizazz of some of the previous entries.  This was made up for with the personal message.  I don't know what the word between 'bag' and 'Poland' is.  I think it might be a picture of a fence or a very small cannon.

Inside the bag were 8 delicious looking sweets:





You'll note that some of the sweets are in shiny wrappers.  I like shiny things, so this is definitely a bonus.

Obviously, I started with a shiny one:





This one looked a little bit like a Ankylosaurus, before I bit into it.  Sweets that look like dinosaurs are definitely brilliant in my book.  I don't know what Ankylosaurases taste like, but the insides of this sweet tasked quite a lot like hazelnut and I have a feeling that Ankylosauruses do not taste like hazelnut inside.  I like this sweet. Here is an ankylosaurus:

Next up is Michalki Zamkowe.




That's what's written on the wrapper anyway.  According to Google, Michalki is a place and Zamkowe translates to Castle, which is all very well but doesn't make much sense as, when unwrapped, the sweet doesn't look like a castle at all.  It did taste nutty again though, so I forgive it.





And then there was the selection of chocolate covered fruity jellies.  You read that right:  chocolate covered fruity jellies.  Those Polish are crazy.

Dear god, they were disgusting. And strangely difficult to photograph, which leads me to suspect that they might be slightly vampiric. On their mother's side.

Sadly, the 'jelly nightmares' brought the whole score down from the nutty heights of 4.5 to a round 3.  Sorry, Fish Lady, your country's sweets only rate a 3/5.  That's the same as Switzerland.

I think we have enough results to start displaying on my patented map of the relative horribleness of foreign sweets:





You'll see, if you zoom in, that the UK and Turkey are a lovely green colour, while we have a disappointingly middling orangey hue for the Swiss and the Poles.

Hopefully, we will be able to populate this map well enough that the budding sweet tourist will be able to plot a route around the globe eating only the tastiest sweets that the world can offer.

Now, I have a feeling that the Fish Lady was lacking in confidence somewhat, in her sweet selection as she also provided me with some white mice and some chocolate boobs.





I'm not sure if they were a bribe or a consolation prize!  Either way, thank you Fish Lady.  Yours was a worthy and most welcome entry!

I'm going to end this post with a bit of a plea.  You see, several of my friends and co-workers have been abroad to exciting places like Jordan, Egypt, Sicily and the Nederlands and returned with exactly no examples of horrible (or otherwise) foreign sweets.  So this whole thing is taking much longer then I'd hoped (by which I mean, I'm not getting as many sweets as I'd like).

So, if you are a Foreigner and your country has sweets, or if you're planning a visit to foreign climes, please send me some - or bring them to me.  Together we can change the world.  Or at least colour it in!