Sunday, May 22, 2011

Steel Chewing Mice!

This poster has recently been put up around my workplace:


There's plenty of sensible enough advice there, but it's all offset by the wild claim that mice can CHEW THROUGH STEEL!

Presumably the mice that they're referring to are some sort of evil mutant mice who go to the same dentist as Jaws from the Bond films.




If mice could chew through steel*, which they can't, they'd probably chew their way into our fridges and eat all the tasty cheese, which they don't.

If mice could chew through steel, which they can't, they'd probably eat our cutlery and colanders and things - then we wouldn't be able to eat our dinners and we'd starve to death. And then they'd probably eat our corpses.

If mice could chew through steel, which, as I may have mentioned before, they can't, then they'd probably rule the world by now, which they don't.

Unless they're fucking with us. In which case... I guess we're fucked!



*I'm sure there are pedants out there who would point out that mice could probably chew through, say steel foil or a very thin steel wire. To them, I say 'Feh,' and would then let them stew in the fetid mire of their own idiocy.

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