The Church Disco

Before you get comfortable, may I suggest that you go and read the update to yesterday's post, which is both witty and informative.

I had an excellent blog post planned for you tonight. I was literally about to sit down and write it when the doorbell rang. When I answered it, a whole new blog post was standing there begging me to write it.

'I put a notice through your letterbox a few days ago,' said the new blog post. 'for the church disco next week. Did you see it?'

'I'm afraid not,' I replied, guardedly. 'I usually put all the leaflets straight in the bin.'

'It's to raise money for the church, you see,' said the new blog post. 'We're having a disco and we'd like you to come.'

'I'm afraid discos aren't really my thing,' I told him, meaning in a non-verbal way that I was actually afraid that churches aren't really my thing and would he please fuck off now, thank you so very much.

Sadly, the new blog post didn't take the hint and utterly failed to fuck off, explaining at great length as he did so that if I didn't want to dance, I could always pop in to watch and listen. And even if I didn't want to pop in to watch and listen, I could always pop some money in an envelope to help the church out.

When I non-committally agreed that those were all things that I could do, he produced an envelope.

'Look,' he pointed out helpfully, 'If you put your money in here, you can get gift aid with it.'

'Thank you,' I said, taking the envelope, 'If we are free, we will certainly pop in.' meaning, again, non-verbally, I'm going to put your stupid envelope straight in the bin. Now fuck the fuck off.

This time, I think he heard me.