Unfortunately, we had forgotten that it was sales season. Bath was packed with sale-fevered females hauling their long suffering, shopping bag laden male companions along behind them. Honestly, why do so many women insist on dragging their men out on shopping trips when they know they hate it!
After witnessing defeated and despairing men in their hundreds traipsing around behind their wives, being berated for not sharing in the retail enthusiasm, I saw one particularly horrific example of ritual humiliation of a man by his wife involving a pair of furry slippers and I began to wonder if there was a law against subjecting them to such treatment!
It turns out there is. In fact there's a couple:
Article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights states that:
"No one shall be subjected to torture or to inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment."
Being forced to go shopping is the very definition of inhuman and degrading treatment.
In fact if one were to accept that there was, indeed a battle of the sexes, then it becomes obvious that men are being effectively held as prisoners of war in the shops by their female captors and subjecting them to this torture is, in fact, a war crime under the Geneva Convention:
"Persons ... shall in all circumstances be treated humanely, without any adverse distinction founded on race, colour, religion or faith, sex, birth or wealth..." and "...the following acts are and shall remain prohibited at any time... cruel treatment and torture... outrages upon personal dignity, in particular humiliating and degrading treatment;"
So basically, if your woman drags you out shopping, you should suggest going to the shopping centre at Nuremberg, where justice can be meted out.
( * To clarify - we were not there to go shopping. Dr K has considerably less tolerance for shopping than the average female. )
Picture: I was only following orders.
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