The Relative Horribleness Of Foreign Sweets #4: Portugal (Updated)

Today, I had Portuguese sweets.

They were, allegedly, toffees.


Indeed, they came wrapped in a shiny toffee-like wrapper. And, when opened, looked a lot like the toffee that we all know and love:


At this point, you're expecting me to say that they tasted like someone had eaten three kilos of sugar and then shat it out in my mouth, or perhaps that they tasted rather like an elderly badger's groin.

I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed. They tasted like toffee.

As such, I give them a solid 4 out of 5. Well done, Portugal.

We interrupt this fascinating discussion of the relative horribleness of foreign sweets to bring you this update to the Onion Threat Level: We have now officially downgraded from Moderate to Low.

UPDATE

Oh my, my assessment of Portugal's sweeties has been formally challenged!

Mr Grumpy Face said...
How can you rate Portugal 4 based on toffee? Toffee that probably isn't even from Portugal. Go on, check the bag they came in ... if it says "made in the UK" then ... then .... then .... grrrr.

If you'd been basing your thoughts on marzipan piglets such as these ... http://www.travelsignposts.com/Portugal/files/2009/10/dsc_6395.jpg ... then maybe your arguement would carry more water ... but you weren't ... so it doesn't.

Charletan.
Well, Mr Grumpy Face. You raise some excellent points, which I am happy to address.

You're right. My research into the origins of these sweets left a lot to be desired, so here goes:

First up is an additional photograph of the packaging. It doesn't really help my case, but it does have some happy looking cartoon children dressed as pirates on it!


Now to address your 'not Portuguese' point. And I will address it with an address:


Senhora Da Hora. Hmm... Now where might that be...? Oh, yes. That's right. Portugal. Sorry, dude.

On the other hand, those marzipan piglets look absolutely amazing and, had I received those, Portugal would have had a solid five! You need to either send me some or tell me where I can get them!

Until then, I'm afraid I can only base my opinion of a country on what I've put in my mouth! Four is good, anyway. You should be proud!